Becoming a Mercer
by JJBluebell
Summary: She was a scared little kid who saw and suffered to much, so like a lot of hurt children she lashed out, became angry. Now Evelyn Mercer wants to save her. Read what happens when Evelyn brings her home, how this girl works in this family, how she'll deal with the death of Evelyn and how she became a Mercer. JackxOC Rating pending Please Review
1. Chapter 1

I remember. I know people say stuff like 'it happened so fast…' but not for me, I remember it all, and by god I wish I didn't.

It was a Saturday, it was summer, hot as hell to so I was grateful the air conditioning I was sat under. I held my tongue out as I scribbled away on the paper in front of me, sipping at my juice box as I feel fingers bury into my hair, a figure leaning over with something small and silver glittering light into my eyes "That's beautiful baby."

I smile triumphantly at the drawing as a voice calls "Rose, can I get the check?"

With a kiss on my head she leaves to carry on her shift. I watch her go, to you this woman would seem meager in her ugly mustard uniform, too skinny frame and brown roots among her colored hair, but to me she was an angel, her locks were golden and the roots merely a halo, her smile beamed brighter than any star and her eyes were fire lit sapphires.

But I guess all eight year olds see their moms like that.

We didn't have much, a one bedroom apartment and black and white TV that hardly worked, but we were happy, we window shopped and had tickle fights. That all changed that night…

The bell above the door chimes; I don't look up, too interested in my drawing to care until the new comer screams "Nobody move!"

My small head shoots up to meet my mother as the hooded figure points a gun in her face "you, empty the register"

His hand quivers as my mom hands him all the money in the register, I didn't understand, I was just so scared "Mommy?"

Without warning the man swivels and I'm looking down then end of the barrel "NO"

A loud bang echo's through my ears, the gun lowered by the trembling hand as panic washes over his face, hood fallen… he was just a kid, a teenager. But that didn't matter to me as I saw my mom on the floor, a sticky red staining the mustard dress "Mommy!"

As I run to her the boy runs out, having the nerve to actually take the money as he goes. I kneel next to her, Kevin, her boss, already on the phone as she looks up at me, reaching a hand up to cup my tear stained cheek "mommy you're bleeding"

She sobs as she looks at me with such sadness "I'm so sorry baby…"

"Mommy… don't leave me" I cry, heart in my throat

She cries, matching me tear for tear as her breath quickens to short breaths "I love you Mattiline. Don't, don't ever for-forget that. So much, I love… you"

Her hand falls and eyes wide, glassy. Dead

I shake my head and pull on her dress "no, no mommy, wake up, wake up mommy please"

When she doesn't and Kevin tries to pull me away but I cling to her, after he gives up I lay my head on her shoulder, sobbing without thought as my fingers come to graze the shiny diamond dusted snowflake resting between her breast, I place a kiss on her cheek with silent tears "I love you to mommy"

**FIVE YEARS LATER**

I'm sat on some lumpy ass chair in the wreck-room, one of the many crappy orphanages I've been to, their all the same really. The door opens and in walks my case worker Gina with her frizzy red hair, I didn't like Gina and she didn't like me, she talked to me like I was stupid so I bit her. With the way she reacted you'd think I was a rabid dog, I didn't even break the skin for fucks sake.

She pushes my sneakers off the table, my feet landing with a heavy thud before she looks down her nose at me "why am I here?"

"Someone wants to meet you, now you're going to be nice and I swear if you hit her or bite her then you'll be losing all your privileges" she warns, heading back to the door as I scoff

As the door opens in walks on old woman; smiling at me like I'm some little china doll "hello, I'm Evelyn"

I don't respond, not until Gina coughs threateningly and I glare with a bitter tone "Mattiline"

I can't help but notice the frown she sends to the redhead whiles I play with the snowflake around my neck

"That's pretty Mattie, do you mind if I call you Mattie?" she smiles, not in the judging way Gina had when she saw it, accused me of stealing it, because orphans didn't have pretty things just shit in a trash-bag

Without thinking I tuck the pendant out of sight, folding my arms with a shrug "So, you like snow?"

I don't respond, Gina nudges me and I turn with a death stare, her wrist twisted painfully in my tiny hand "Lady you touch me again I'm going to crack your fucking skull open"

I push her wrist back and see the rage in her eyes as she goes to speak only for the old lady to stand "Gina, could I have word please?"

As they leave the room I smirk, giving the redhead a wave, the old woman turning back to me with a smile. An actual smile; see now that kind of shocked me

As the door closes I scooter over, my ear to the wood as they speak "Mrs. Mercer, you see how she is… I'm sorry that you wasted your time"

A laugh comes from the old girl, Evelyn? "No need for apologies. I wish to go forward with the adoption"

My eyes widen at that, fear creeping through my veins and I can hear the surprise on the social workers voice "What? Mrs. Mercer this girl is trouble. She has authority, attitude and behavioral issues; she is constantly fighting and set fire to her last foster home… adoption?"

"I'm very aware of all that… now please arrange the paperwork" she says politely, who the hell was this woman?

The drive was quiet; I didn't bother making small talk, what's the point? I'll probably be back at that hellhole by the end of the week anyway.

Eventually we pull up to a worn brick house, turning to me with another light hearted smile she says "here we are, home sweet home"

Getting out I grab the trash bag holding everything I own and follow her up the path, it was snowing. She opens the door and lets me walk in first; I've seen worse "Boy's get in here"

I swallow hard as four guys walk into the living room "Mattie these are my son's Jeremiah…"

The first was a talk skinny boy with dark skin and smiling with big teeth that waved; he looked around nineteen maybe twenty "hey"

"Bobby…" the second guy was white and had a touch of muscle but he was short, taller than me though, but at thirteen everyone was taller than me. I guessed he was at least early twenties, he just nodded

"Angel and Jack, boy's this is your new sister Mattiline" the Angel guy was had muscle and a huge afro to distract from his shiny braces, I'd say about eighteen and the last guy was just plain skinny and damn tall, not much older than me, sixteen maybe

They all look at me expectedly so I just throw out a quick wave as Evelyn sighs "alright let me show you to your room"

I scan over the place quick, the four guys looking at me as I follow her. Almost like they were trying to decipher me, but if a child physiologist and a bunch of adults couldn't get me how could some dudes. I get my own room? First for everything I guess. It's got blue paper on the walls and a small bed, wardrobe and chest of draws "I know it's a little plain but I'm sure we can soon fix it up. What color do you want the walls, pink? Purple?"

I just shrug, dropping the trash bag. Was this woman really talking to me about this? She really thought I'd be sticking around? I think this lady must be nuts or up to something, I haven't decided yet "ok, well when you decide a color we can get it all decorated for you. I'll let you get settled in; dinner will be ready in about an hour. Oh and there's a new toothbrush in the bathroom for you under the sink"

I just nod as she smiles; does this woman ever not smile? She leaves the room and I take a seat on the bed, expecting it to be lumpy and used, but it felt like it had never been slept in. I look to the door and see a lock on the inside of the wooden frame, huh, makes a change I suppose. Kicking off my shoe's I lay down on the fresh scented linens, best to enjoy it while it lasts…

If only I knew then that this place wasn't just another stop to hell, its home.

_**Hey guys, what do you think? Please review and tell me what you think if you want more. I'm not sure if this will be an M yet so suggestions welcome :) **_

_**Thanx JJ**_


	2. Chapter 2

It was my first day of school, for me it was anyway. New house, new school those are the rules. I didn't bother to wear make-up or do much besides brush my messy chocolate curls; I did raise a brow to the clothes on the dresser that hadn't been there when I went to sleep. I slide into the freshly ironed clothes, a pair of fitted jeans, black sweater and a red t-shirt. They were still warm.

I go into the bathroom and under the sink sits a tray of toothbrush's; mine was the glittery purple one with my name on, that was actually spelt right for a fucking change. I carried it in my pocket for the first week…what? it was a damn fine toothbrush.

A knock on the door shocks me as I pack my tattered old leather backpack "hey, Mattie, Ma made breakfast"

"Not hungry" I shrug and walk past Jerry, who just nods at me as I race down the stairs

I head for the door as a voice calls "where do you think you're going young lady?"

With a puzzled expression I sigh "School, you know, the place you learn stuff"

"Well that's all well and good but you have to have breakfast first" she smiles brightly at me

I shake my head "I aint hungry"

"Oh come on now, breakfast is the most important meal of the day and you're not leaving this house until you eat something" she stands stern, I didn't get it, usually they dont want me hanging around

With a heavy groan I drop my bag and head into the kitchen, followed by the old woman

Two weeks. That's how long I've been living with the Mercer's and it's kind of weird. By day three Evelyn spotted me putting silverware in my pockets, I expected a good smack but she just laughed and joked about having to have takeout. Angel caught me smoking in my room and just winked at me. Bobby gave a wheezing laugh when I punched him in the gut for grabbing my arm "girl we got to teach you how to throw a punch, because that was pathetic" but it wasn't threatening it was lighthearted. Jerry always seemed to give me his piece of desert and Jack gave me smokes from time to time… I didn't know how handle all this, so I didn't. it wouldn't last anyway, nothing good ever did… right?

I stand at the locker a teacher walked me to, shoving in the books I wouldn't need when a high-pitched voice chirps "Hey, you're the new girl right? I mean you must be new because I don't know you and I would know you if you weren't new, so you must be the new girl. I'm Daisy"

I stare wide-eyed; she had a blonde bob, huge green eyes, light freckles and a big ass mouth "Mattiline"

She smiles brightly and all but rips my timetable from my hand "awesome alright, it looks like we have like three classes together"

I shrug, not to concerned as I close the locker and snatch back the paper as the bell blares through my ears "whatever…"

It was lunch already, the day passed in a haze, after all when you move around as often as I do it all becomes the same shit. Like the cafeteria dance… you stand looking like an idiot with a tray of food in your hands wondering where the safest bet to eat is. As I stand there for a second, ignoring the stares as I spot an empty table. I didn't bother to cast a glance to the people I pass, we won't be friends.

I take the seat only to instantly be joined "hey Mattiline, ooh you went for the corndog. Nice choice. I had one yesterday and today I was like craving pizza you know?"

I look to the blonde with a wide eyed glare "what are you doing? Are you lost?"

She just laughs at my threat. Ok, not the usual reaction. Only then does she look over with a smile as a black haired kid who sits in front of us "Ladies… ooh corndog, nice choice"

"I know right? Mattiline, Zach, Zack this is Mattiline" Daisy beams at us before tucking into her pizza

The boy smiles with a nod "nice to meet you honey, love the hair, wavy curls? So in"

Yeah, so this guy won't have any trouble coming out of the closet "do you two want something?"

At my angry tone they share a look and Daisy nods "yeah, yeah I want fries… I'll get a big batch and we can share"

I watch her walk away with a shake of her buttery mane "you'll get used to her, Daisy is an acquired taste… you don't talk much do you?"

Not looking up I throw a tater tot in my mouth after answering "I talk, just not to you"

"Daisy said you had a good sense of humor" he laughs; I notice he's doing that thing where people try to twig me out. I hate when people do that

Suddenly a hand reaches over grabbing my corndog as they sit down and taking a bite "the fuck you think you're doing?"

Swallowing the wrapped meat he smiles "oh calm down you baby… how's your first day going?"

"Would be better if people would leave me alone and some asshole hadn't just eaten half my freaking lunch!" I bitch at him as fries come into view on the table and a small gasp from my side

"Chill out Mattie, so who are your friends?" he looks over at the two sitting at my table, my eyes rolling into the back of my head

"They're not my friends" is what was about to say before a hand shoots in front of my face and a high pitched voice quailed "Daisy Richards"

Taking her hand he smiles "um, Jack Mercer"

"Oh, I know who you are. This is Zach Tombs my BFF, so how do you know Mattiline?" she smirks, inching closer, resulting in pushing me into the older boy

"Watch it Barbie!" I shout at her, seeming to pull the girl from her trance

Taking a handful of fries Jack winks at us before leaving "oh my god you know Jack Mercer? He is so hot"

"Totally of the hotness scale. So _Mattie_, spill" Zach nods and they high five, I look at them like their crazy, I pretty sure everyone in this place is nuts

I sit in Math with a huge ass headache, after lunch I'd called Daisy a nosy cunt she just shrugged and followed me to class with a smile "Well I'm going to be a journalist, comes with the territory"

I didn't understand this girl at all. I had a very simple routine, they talk to me I brush them off they fuck off, but this girl didn't seem to get the hint. Now she's sat next to me rabbling on about god knows what, then as her hand touches my arm I twist and grip it tightly bending her fingers back, causing the girl with whimper in pain "Listen up, because I'm only going to say this once. I don't do friends, I don't want any friends and I definitely don't do touching… ever!"

I release her fingers only for her to cradle them sadly "I'm sorry… I didn't mean to upset you. if you want I can make it up with a smoothie after school, my mom's taking me the mall you should come"

I look at her in amazement before laughing with a bitter echo "my god were you dropped on your head or something"

"Mattiline Mercer, why are you talking during my class?" the teacher snaps, looking down at me like she had any idea what was going on

Leaning back, hair whipping from my face I scowl without thinking "why are you teaching during my conversation?"

Laughter breaks out and I smirk at the instant hand pointing to the door "Mercer, Principal's office…"

So, yeah, they called the house, I mean seriously? It's not like I hurt anyone, no, wait, Daisy… I wonder if she ratted me out; I think I broke a finger. Now I'm just sitting in the office with this old fat guy looking down his nose at me

As the door opens I turn my head, eyes wide to what I find "Bobby? What are you doing here? Where's Evelyn?"

Taking a seat he sits bored "Ma's stocking up on groceries with Jerry; I was the one who picked up the call. Principal Wilkes, nice to see you again sir, so what's the problem?"

"Mattiline here seems to find disrupting her class and belittling her teachers as acceptable behavior, there's also that matter of Daisy Richards" the old man groans, I give a bitter chuckle, bitch sold me out

Bobby leans lays out his hands and asks "Who?"

Wilkes tries staring me down as he explains "the young lady who was sat next to Mattiline during her disruption, who now has a fractured finger…"

The older man I've been living with quirks a brow and I shrug, it wasn't my best work. Then Wilkes says something that confuses me "However Miss. Richards swears blind that you had nothing to do with it, despite your classmates claims."

"Wait, so you're telling me I got called up here because a teacher can't handle a bit of backchat? This is fucking ridiculous. Mattie, get your stuff" we stand and I quickly grab my ragged bag and jacket

Bobby leans his knuckles on the desk as he frowns, and I have to admit it was kind of intimidating "Principal Wilkes I hope you're not making my sister a target, after all we wouldn't want history to repeat itself now would we? Come on Mattie"

As we motor back to the house in this ugly rundown car, Bobby keeps casting me glances until he speaks "did you do it?"

"Do what?" I stare out the window melancholy

"You know damn well what" is his only reply as we come to a stop

I swallow hard, fingers twiddling with snowflake hanging from my neck "she'll survive"

I hear him chuckle and turn my head, trying to catch his mumble as he gets out of the car, but cant. Wait; did he call me his sister?

That night I sit in my room finishing the homework Jack picked up for me when the door opens "Don't you know how to knock?"

Angel just walks into my room with his reflectors and seventies hairdo "so I hear school went well, you sure are living up to the Mercer name"

"I'm not a Mercer" is all I say, penciling in the answer from the text book I'm reading

I hear him chuckle as he actually passes the threshold "give it time, kid. Ma brought you here for a reason"

Snapping my head up and gripping my pencil I growl "and what the fuck is that?"

"Same damn reason as the rest of us; no one else wants you…" he looks to me in all seriousness and sympathy. I feel my chest clench tight around my rips

Watching him go, I sit there for a long minute, breathing hard and fast as without warning my books are tarnished across the room as they meet the now closed door and a scream escapes me. Standing up I kick the scattered papers and books across the room, slamming the lock into the bolt. Going into my bag I pull out a packet of cigarettes, opening the window I clime out onto the patio roof, lighting up to take a long drag from the cancer stick "hey, you know those things will kill you"

Startled I jump, hand on heart only to find the sixteen year old sitting on his windowsill with a fag hanging out his mouth "fucks sake, you trying to kill me?"

He laughs while climbing out the window, taking a seat next to me with a hand though his frayed hair "what crawled up your ass?"

"Fuck you Cracker Jack!" I blurt without thinking, I heard Bobby call him it a few times

Now the next bit, I know he was only joking, but it still sent a chill down my spine and Goosebumps up my arms "your tits aint big enough for me, ask again in a few years"

He seemed to notice this and shrugs off his leather jacket, draping it over my shoulders "Mom will freak if you get a cold"

I shake my head at that with a long drag on my lips "why are you being nice to me? What's your angle?"

When I ask people that they looked confused but Jack looks straight ahead as he pushes the smoke from his lungs "before I came here I… some stuff happened, I didn't handle it well, fuck you're doing better than I did. My first week Jerry went to hug me and I pulled a fucking knife on the guy. I don't know what happened to you or understand your shit, but I get it. The mistrust, the anger, I get that."

He turns to me then, his sky blue eyes vulnerable and open. This wasn't a meeting with some counselor wanting to know my story or some jumped up caseworker telling me it would get better. It was an understanding of two people the world had royally fucked over, I respected that.

I nod my head with a tightlipped smile "yeah well… life's a bitch"

"Your one to talk" he jokes and I shove him lightly.

He leans back through his window to pull out a magazine "what's your star sign?"

"Capricorn, why?" my brow frowns as I watch him flick away the bud before turning to the pages

Sitting next to me he smiles "here we go. 'Capricorn today is a day of new discovery's and choices. This is the day to take a leap of faith and try something new, you've recently had a shift in your life and now's the time to act on this opportunity. Rediscover yourself and who you want to be"

He turns to me expectantly with a raised brow and a hundred watt smirk. I tilt my head to the side as I toss the fag-end "you really believe in that shit?"

"Straight up man, plus the chick's digit" he nods as I snatch the magazine off him and we share a laugh. It didn't dawn on me then and wouldn't until much later on, but sitting there with him was easy, almost fun…

_**Hey, so I know there's not much family time right now but I want to get a feel for her you know? I promise in the next chapter there with be some Mattie and Evelyn scenes. Tell me what you think? PLEASE REVIEW THANK YOU :) **_

_**JJ**_


	3. Chapter 3

The snow was falling fast in the mist of the January sky, my heart pounding in my chest with each breath, my short legs bouncing off the salted ground. The wind crashing hard on my face as I race against the current, crossing the finish just before the whistle echoes through the crisp winter air.

My aching body comes to a stop with hands on knee's and heavy breaths "nice work ladies… hit the showers"

As we walk a blonde bonce's over to my side, a sheen layer of sweat on her freckle dusted pallor. Daisy had a tattooed cast holding her fingers in place. I'd expected fear, snubbing when I met her again but that's not what I got, the second she saw me she skipped over with a milkshake in hand, offering it tenderly. Zach hadn't spoken to me since he heard what happened but I don't really care too much. I just didn't get Daisy, she was sweet to everyone. I knew a boy like her once… Astor Morgan, he was so sweet, with big brown puppy dog eyes, but in the system sweet kids don't last…

I look around the shower stalls with a nervous quiver, opting to take the one on the far corner with the highest walls, I don't take long to rinse my body of swelter I earned, only to find my bench empty when I return "where the fuck are my clothes?"

I look over and see a small cluster of girls giggling with passing glances, a feral snarl escapes as I head for them only for a voice to interrupt my stampede "they do it to all the new girls when they first have gym, here, you can wear these and this sweater will look so cute on you"

I look to the blonde as she hands me a yellow sweater and a pair of springy blue slacks. Quirking a brow I wonder "you bring extra clothes to school?"

"Only on gym days" she smiles brightly, turning around to change. However I notice the anxious glimpse she sends to the no longer giggling girls, who look kind of pissed now and I realize why she brought extra clothes... but it's not my business

The shirt is tight and has a freaking daisy on the front, typical, but with my tattered jacket, scuffed up sneakers and wild curls, looks more like a fashion statement rather than the last resort it is.

So when the bell rings for the end of school I go to get my books, a bulky bang ricochets off the locker making me jump and I snarl to the smirking figure sucking on a lollipop "you're an ass"

"And you're ungrateful… I brought you a present" the boy then pulls a lollipop from his pocket

Snatching it I don't thank him, he just smirks as I rip off the wrapping and shoving it in my mouth only to choke in disgust "Ew, strawberry…"

He just rolls his sky blue eyes only to snatch it from my hand. With a loud pop he holds out the one that was he had just been suckling, seems like he only had it in a few minutes because it was still in its bulbous form but shiny with spit, I look at it as he leans forward "its cherry flavored"

"Ooh cherry!" I snatch as he smirk's that brilliant white smirk, as we walk out and onto the bus. Something catches my eye from the end of the hall. Did I notice the yelps of pain? Did I look back to the ramble? No, it wasn't my business

The second Jack and I step off the bus we see our housemates gathered around Evelyn's car "what's going on?"

"Mom's carburetor is fucked" he groans in annoyance

Jerry then buts in "no I told you it's the fuel line"

As an argument breaks out I snatch the cloth from Bobby's hand, taking a look under the hood "you're both wrong because the radiator's cracked"

Standing with skeptical stares Angel laughs "and what do you know about cars?"

"Obviously more than you idiot's" I shrug, throwing the rag back and hitting Bobby in the face

With a stroke of his chin Jerry looks from me to the engine "how much will it be to fix?"

I laugh at that "Fix? No, you need a new radiator, that plus installing would be around two to four hundred bucks easy"

Their eyes widen at the estimate whilst I suckle the remains of my cherry treat "fuck, Bobby where are we going to get four hundred bucks?"

At Jack's question I lick my lips "I know a guy…"

They turn to me with questioning stares, making me roll my blue orbs "he works on cars, owes me a favor. Could maybe cut us a deal"

Not an hour later and we're across town; Angel goes to knocks on the warehouse door as I glare to them "let me do the talking yeah?"

A small slot opens, a pair of suspicious eyes looking down on us "you want something?"

"Yeah, Billy Darley" I bite with a smile

Eyeing me and the three men with me, Jerry had a date with a Camilla or something "you've got the wrong place kid"

"Tell him it's Mattiline Crown" I call as the slot slams shut

"So much for that plan, let's get outta here man" Angel complains, you know he's kind of a whiner

Without warning the door opens and I'm faces with a built bald guy, with a Balbo goatee and tribal flames licking up his neck "I'll be damned if it aint Mad Mat"

A smile breaks free at the sight of my old acquaintance "Billy. How's tricks?"

"Never been better, who's your friend's?" he smiles leaning against the frame of the door

I fix him with a glare; he knows I don't do friends "I'm crashing with them for a while, their cool"

Nodding he moves for us to follow him in. the place is packed with people, car parts and sparks; your average chop shop. We follow him into a small office "so what's up? Guessing this aint no social call"

I walk round the bald man and crash into his worn leather chair, his little thrown "I need a 96 Plymouth radiator"

Lighting up a cigarette he sits on the corner next to my feet on the desk, taking it from his chapped lips and passing it to my doll like hand "installation?"

With a long drag I blow smoke into the dry air "I can handle that, just bleed, remove, replace. Give me prices"

"Normally I'd say two-fifty" he says, leaning back against the desk

This makes me smile with a raised brow as I return the bud "and for me?"

He laughs and takes a drags, flicking away the ash "for you, one-eighty"

"That's grate" Bobby nods at the man, going to shake his hand

Mine and Billy's gaze never turns as I stand "One-eighty? Are you forgetting that if it weren't for me you'd be sucking cock in a prison cell right now?"

"Come on Mad, don't be like that" he says with a duck of his head, eyebrows raised over in the corner

I get in his face, the fact he's sitting helps because I'm a tiny fuck "like what? Like your fucking alibi, the chick that covered your ass when your boys sold you out?"

With a deep sigh he nods, blue gems meeting my own "alright mad, one-forty"

"A Hundred"

"One-thirty"

I just smirk and tilt my head, batting my eyes in that puppy dog way I remember made my mom swoon, whilst playing with the letter opener on his desk. He shakes his head at that this with a chuckle on his lips "fine, a hundred! 96, right? It'll take me a day or two to get the part"

Snatching the fag I nod "obviously"

I turn then to see three gaping men, because thirteen year old girls shouldn't know about chop shops, shouldn't be able to manipulate criminals, but then I know more than any thirteen year old should "what?"

When we get back to the house I don't have time to kick off my shoe's as the old lady walks over, pulling the shrugged off jacket back around my shoulder's carefully "what are you doing?"

"Your severance check came today, so you and I are going shopping" I just look at her for a long moment, turning my gaze from the boys now lounged around the living room and to her. You might not know this but a severance check is the reason most people foster, it's like $500-$600 a month just for watching some brat, easy money. I don't think I've ever seen a dime of it

"Where are we going?" I can't help but ask, what did she want me to carry stuff or something?

She lets out a lighthearted laugh "why the mall of cause, your room is rather Spartan dear"

"Plus your clothes look like shit" Bobby says with a sip of his beer, earning him a smack on the head from his mother

"Ow, sorry ma" he responds on instinct, everyone laughing because big bad Bobby got put in his place

"Dinner's in the oven, we'll be back later. Behave boys" Evelyn smile's to them, walking out the door as I follow, not noticing the look Jack sends my way… almost worried

At the mall I stand with disgust at the mirror, I'm wearing a lilac dress that screams pretty "oh you look just precious"

I glare at the sales woman wearing way to much makeup and hairspray then to the mirror as Evelyn laughs "I don't think so… hmm Mattie why don't you try this?"

She hands me a few things to make an actual outfit and I emerge a few minutes later in crimson jeans, a cream rose patterned halter-top with red all stars. I look it over in the mirror it was better than the dress anyway "oh wait!"

I turn for the old woman to scamper off through the store, returning she wraps black leather, well pleather actually, jacket around my shoulders and smiles "there we go, perfect"

I look at her in the mirror and my heart almost stopped, she was so nice to me… but the worst one's always were at first. I wouldn't let myself get tricked again… I couldn't …

The afternoon carries on like that until we're sat at the food court with litters of bags. I don't know why I said it, didn't even think about it as the words spilled from my lips "why did you do this?"

She looks confused for a moment before shrugging "because you can't very well be walking about in old clothes forever, you're a growing girl after all and every girl needs pretty things. So what's your favorite outfit, I personally loved the white dress and black cardigan"

I look at her for a long moment… I just didn't understand; understand why she picked me…

The next day I'm sat in art in my new jacket and red outfit. They have me drawing fruit, not just drawing it, drawing the aura… which basically means the outline in rainbow colors. Because this is going to be real useful later in life, right? No, no it's not

I look at the clock hanging on the wall, my gaze shifting around the room. It was quiet, near me it was anyway, not filled with its usual cloud of chatter from my stalker. She followed me everywhere and I have her clothes from yesterday in my bag. I wonder where she is.

It's lunch now and I'm not worried. So the overly perky blonde wasn't in today, big deal… but through all her blabbering I remember her saying how she never missed a day, how perfect attendants would look good on a résumé. So where was the annoying bitch?

Making way to my locker I see a mask of blonde hair being marched into the office, I follow her, breaking into a jog as she walks out to the parking lot "Daisy!"

At my call I notice the older blonde woman turn, a protective arm around her child "I'm sorry Daisy isn't feeling very well"

At the woman's dismissive tone I laugh, I don't know why "awesome, look Barbie I need your notes for Bio so if you…"

"What the fuck?" my eyes widen tenfold at the slight before me. Her left eye was an angry ebony, a large gash over her bruised lip, she wasn't in her usual girly outfit, instead slumming in sweats and an oversized t-shirt, that where sure to be coving more bruises

"What happened?" I ask with a thin layer in my voice I don't recognize, concern?

Her mother, I don't remember her name, stokes her daughters hair "that's something I'd also like to know"

I can't tear my eyes from her; she hasn't looked at me once "Daisy…"

Slowly, fearfully her green orbs turn up to me, swimming in tears as realization hits me. Yesterday, I didn't look back

A storm of rage floods my veins as I back away "no, no fucking way!"

My body moves on autopilot as my legs throw me back into the building, only vaguely hearing the voice calling after me. Before I know it I'm tearing into the lunch hall, scanning over until I find my target. Loren Perks. Blonde, popular, ring leader, bully…

"Hey Perks!" I scream and she looks over her shoulder to say hello to my fist

As her body hits the floor I straddle that bitch, smashing her head into the tile "How'd you like it you fucking bulimic cock-slut!"

The sharp pain of one of her friends pulling my hair makes me kick her feet from under her, standing I punch a redhead in the stomach, just like Bobby showed me. Then another blonde in the jaw, this is the moment two strong arms wrap around my middle, lifting me off my feet and pulling me away from the whores, making me struggle harder "Mattie it's me, It's Jack, it's just me"

I see teachers running up, wanting answers as Perks stands, blood and tears ruining the makeup she's too young for anyway "Crazy bitch!"

I try to go for her again but Jack's to strong, how can a guy that looks so skinny have such muscle's "what is going on here? Mercer… my office"

I'm not sure if the principal is telling Jack to take me or for me to go there. I rip out of the older boys grip and stand, shaking with rage as Perks stands smug "she just attacked me; I knew that girl was a freak, just like her little Barbie!"

My head hurts…and it's bleeding because apparently I just head-butted Perks to the floor and am screaming "you don't call her that! You don't even look at her fucking trailer trash whore!"

As I'm dragged out of the hall by two teachers I pass Daisy and her mom with a wink and a smile. Only I got to call her Barbie.

The school is pissed and I'm getting the blame. Figures!

Evelyn came to pick me up after the principal gave me some bullshit lecture then had me sit outside whilst he talked to her and honestly I was kind of worried she'd take my new stuff away. However the drive back was quiet but for the radio, the moment I got in I just walked up to my room, not bothering to stick around for another sermon "Mattiline, wait"

Caught in the middle of the staircase I turn to look down at the woman with a roll of my sapphire gems "look those bitches had it…"

"I'm proud of you" my entire body stiffens at that sentence

"W-what?" I ask, swallowing the lump in my throat

Coming to stand at the end of the steps she looks up to me with a smile "I don't approve of your methods and definitely not of violence but I'm proud that you stood up to those girls and you stood up for your friend"

Friend? I don't have any friend's, friends mean attachments and I don't have that luxury. Daisy was just a girl I hung out with and kind of didn't hate. That's all.

It takes me a minute to realize I'm staring until she chirps "I was thinking gammon steaks and French fries for dinner, that alright with you?"

Alright with it, it just happens to be my favorite. Don't ask me how she knows that "Um, yeah, sure. I'm just going to change"

Once in the safety of my room I slouch against the bedframe, head falling back as my hand glides between the metal and the mattress. In the system you learn to hide what you value, a habit I can't shake as I pull out a picture and just stare at it. The image was creased and worn with time and tender touches. She's smiling out at me, hair perfect gold and eyes sparkling, even with that stupid party hat on, her cheek pressed close to mine, I'm wearing a plastic tiara and a birthday badge. My 8th birthday, also known as the last time I was actually, truly and effortlessly happy.

I don't remember what that feels like; I know I felt it, once. I just don't know how to get that feeling back…but I wish I did

Nimble fingers caress the jewel around my throat as I look into my mother's eyes and I can't help but wonder, can't fight the tears as I ask aloud "would you be proud of me?"

A few hours after dinner I sit in the living room watching Jerry tackle Angel to the ground over the remote. Evelyn half laughing half yelling whist knitting on her chair. I'm sat next to Bobby who looks at me "heard you fucked up some chicks today"

"Pretty much" I say sharing a look with Jack who's sat on the floor in the corner

He nods with that sly smirk "Knew you had it in you princess"

Jack breaks out laughing at that "Princess, seriously?"

"Shut it you fairy!" I bite, throwing a cushion to the boy as the bell rings

I bounce up on the balls of my feet "I'll get it"

"Hey I'm more a princess than you are!" Jack calls over, missing with the cushion I tagged him with

"You're more a princess than Cinderella Cracker Jack" at Bobby's joke we all laugh, the two on the floor finally dismounting as I open the door

I look to the visitor, a man with brown hair and green eyes that are burned into my memory and suddenly can't breathe "Hey Mattie-cakes"

My heart is in my stomach as the unwanted whisper breaks from my suddenly dry lips "Daddy?"

**THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE REVIEWS AND FOLLOWS AND FAVORITES! PLEASE TAKE A SECOND TO REVIEW IT MEAN THE WORLD TO ME THANKS SO MUCH X x**

**JJ X x**


	4. Chapter 4

It's bullshit! The school suspended me for mashing up those bitches and their sending out some social worker asshole for an assessment. Then there's dad…

Yeah I so don't want to talk about that.

So here I am instead, at the ice rink. The boys are teaching me to play hockey and honestly I have to say… I fucking suck. I keep falling on my ass and these rented skates are killing me.

"Come on honey get off the ice, leave this to the men" one of the guys on the other team calls

Without thinking I move myself over, ready to fuck him up with the stick in my hands when the blades on my feet are suddenly over my head and laughter surrounds me. Without warning the laughter ends "you think that's funny, huh? How about now? Mother. Fucking. Asshole."

Looking over I see Bobby and Jerry starting to beat the crap out of the guy to tripped me as a pair of strong arms lift me onto my uneasy feet. Other people are getting involved in the fight as Angel helps me off the ice, careful not to actually touch me.

"Come on Mattie" the afro haired man guides me to the bench as security comes to break up the fight and I take off the evil contraptions

I give a sigh of relief at having my feet freed from those things while the guards get Bobby and Jerry off the ice. Over the few weeks I've been at the Mercer's I've noticed a few things, how they all adore Evelyn but look up to Bobby, when he's around Jerry acts on instinct to mimic him, Angel his right hand man and Jack constantly seeking his approval, smiling like an idiot when he gets it.

As we walk out of the rink I feel the aching numbness in my ass "Fuck I hate ice skating!"

They laugh as we climb into Bobby's car "you'll get used to it Princess, I remember when Angel stared he couldn't let go of the damn sides"

"Fuck you Bobby!" the guy laughs with a snarl of his shiny mental lined teeth

I open the car door but I can't help noticing the beat-up old truck just across the road, a lump in my throat as I cross the threshold into the copper chipped car. Looking out my window green orbs lock onto my own, a flash of memory's passing over in a moment until… "Mattie? Hello, you with us?"

Snapping away from the truck I smile, having not heard a word they were saying "yeah, asswipe I'm sitting right here, you blind?"

I'm back at the house a few hours later; the guys have some deal on or something and bailed. So I'm sitting in front of the TV as I finish the homework from last night, the old lady sitting at the dining table with a sowing machine as I throw the pencil down and growl in frustration "Mattie, what's the matter?"

She walks over to me as I rage "who the fuck needs this fractions shit anyway?"

Picking up my discarded homework she looks it over "oh well, here let me show you"

Taking a seat beside me she leans to show me the paper, my head resting on one knee as she explains the math to me, drawing in the diagram section "if I draw a pizza, and I cut it up like this and we eat these ones… how many pieces, or fractions, do you see?"

Sitting up straight I look at her working, the drawing wasn't bad, as my brain worked it over I let out an annoyed wail "why the hell don't teachers explain that? I swear they just want us to suck at math"

She lets out a laugh as the doorbell chimes "well I'm sure they're just trying to make you think about it yourselves, sweetheart"

She opens the door and I nearly growl at the person who walks in "hello Mattiline"

"What do you want?" I sneer at the redhead, I really don't like her

She turns from me then looking my tutor in the eye "Mrs. Mercer if I could talk with Mattiline privately…"

"Certainty, Mattie why don't you show Gina your room?" I stand at this, not muttering a word as the social worker follow's me upstairs

Walking into my room she shuts the door, looking around, it's still kind of plain but now has clothes strewn everywhere and a Drop Dead Fred poster on the far wall near the window "well… Mattiline I think you know why I'm here"

Plopping down on the bed I smirk "to piss me off?"

"Tell me about the fighting" she just says, getting out her little clipboard as she flitters around my room

I just shrug "I got bored"

She lets out a sigh and scribbles away "I hear you had a visit from your father"

I stiffen instantly, eyeing her with every ounce of hate in me "who gives a shit?"

Seeming the snap the woman glares at me "Look kid this is your last chance you got that? Evelyn Mercer has taken in the four worst kids the system ever saw and if she sends you back your fucked so you need to get a grip on what you're doing!"

Bolting upright I push her so her ass meets the floor "you listen here you fucking bitch, I'll do what I want, when I want and you can shove that clipboard up that saggy ass of yours and get the fuck…"

Without warning the door opens and my eyes widen at the sight "Hey Mattie, hope you don't mind Mrs. Evelyn let me up"

"What are you doing here?" I ask the blonde in my doorway, well placed makeup covering the healing damage on her face, dressed in a bright pink coat and matching outfit, the girly girl returns

Smiling she pulls out a few papers and books, setting them on my dresser "Jack got detention so he asked me to bring these by and I was thinking we could go the mall or something"

I look from her hopeful face to the woman sitting gob smacked on my floor; she's never known me to make nice with locals since being my caseworker. Without hesitation I shrug "Sure, let's bounce"

"Now wait a minute I..." I don't listen to Gina as my classmate and I race down the stairs

Grabbing my jacket, arms slipping in when Evelyn comes into view with a smile as she says "Now here's twenty dollar's, you girls have fun and be back before supper, that's eight o'clock. Daisy it was nice meeting you"

I look at her as Gina fumes, the old gal sending me a wink as I grab Daisy who waves back "You to Mrs. Evelyn"

Guess the old lady aint so bad.

At the mall we sit at the fountain, me with a cherry Slurpee and Daisy with banana, which is disgusting! She smiles at me; it's not as bright with the red gloss ill covered slash "so what was going on with the ginger in your room? She looked really mad about you leaving and why was she on the floor like that? Was she going to hurt you? Should we have told Mrs. Evelyn?"

"Woo slow down Sherlock. She was just some punk ass social worker, her names Gina and she's a grade A pain in my ass" I say with the sweet tang on sugar gliding down my throat.

She lets out a breath and nods "oh ok, do you want to come over for dinner on Sunday?"

"W-What?" I choke on my Slurpee slightly

Patting my back gently as I catch my breath the girl smiles "I noticed that the last three weeks you've gone to church every Sunday with the Mercer's and I was thinking it would be nice to have you over for dinner. Mom wants you over to say thanks for sticking up for me and my sister is dying to meet you, I already asked Mrs. Evelyn and she said that it was up to you, so you'll come right? Mom's making her special honey roast ham so I…"

"Daisy! You're giving me a headache… I'll think about it" I shrug just to shut her up, I have no intentions of going for some fucked up lunch… really, I don't

I catch sight of the blonde's nervous stiffness and nod "what's up?"

"That guy has been staring at us for like ten minutes. I think we should go" Daisy winces, jumping off the seat when I turn to look at said peeper

I let out an annoyed groan, thrusting the melting treat into the battered girl's hand "wait here…"

"No! Mattiline I'm not going to let you face some random stranger on your own, no way" I don't mean to but I can't help laughing at her seriousness

"Chill out, Action Barbie, I know the man… just sit tight" at that she looks over and then nods in approval, like I needed it

I walk over to the stalking figure who pushes himself off the wall with hands in his pockets "what are you doing here Nick?"

"I wanted to see you… damn social workers right? You got so big" he offers a coy smile while his eyes scan over me with a flicker of recognition

Folding my arms I scoff "yeah well, it's this thing called age… you sober enough to remember that?"

He at least has the decency to look down in shame and nods "Alright, I deserved that. So your birthday's in a few days right"

I swallow hard; I don't know why my chest tightens with joy that he actually remembered. I must have been quiet for too long because he's looking over my shoulder "so aren't you going to introduce me to your friend Mattie-Cakes?"

I look back at the patient blonde and shake my head "She's not… you can't just turn up like this!"

"Look, I know you don't…" he starts mumbling, his callous hand reaching for me

Before he can touch me I jerk back and growl "No. You can't be here, I don't want you here... I don't know you!"

"Mattiline, I am your father" he states like that actually means something

"Then where the fuck have you been for the last five years Nick?" I scream without thought, earning us some attention

Turning on my heels I storm away, I can't deal with this but his hand grips my wrist "Mattie-Cakes wait!"

Just then a blur of gold bounces between us shoving him hard, freeing my wrist and snarling "don't touch her!"

I stumble back in surprise as Daisy grasps my hand tenderly and pulls me away from my father. I'm too busy fighting back the tears I didn't know I had left to freak out about her fingers wrapped around mine. Once we're round the corner, out of his sight she releases me as asks with concern "Mattie are you ok?"

I look into her emerald gems and find only concern and honesty there. Pacing my breath, pushing the hair from my flushed face I nod "yeah, I'm fine. Let's get out of here"

Later that night I listen to my music bouncing off the walls, it's Friday night and what am I doing, cleaning my room with Eye of the Tiger blaring through my ears. A knock on glass breaks my tone and I look up to see a scruffy haired boy with a cigarette hanging out of his smirking dazzle white teeth. Opening the window he mumbles "nice tune, feel like a smoke?"

Without hesitation I climb out and take the lit bud between his lips "thanks"

"You're welcome… you know your case worker grilled us all right?" he says lighting up another stick

I just shrug, not looking at him as I take a long drag "woman's a bitch"

"Try weekly sessions with her" I laugh, but can't help noticing the torn and scabbed knuckles holding on to a cigarettes

Blowing the smoke from my lungs I ask "what happened?"

He doesn't look at them; just smiles at me with a glint in his eye "Don't worry about it… so you have fun at the mall?"

"It was alright I guess. Got some new CD's" he just nods and leans on his jean sealed knees.

He looks at the burned out bud between his fingers as he says "Jerry told me they took you skating"

I let out a laugh as a child rains down my spine from the frosted breeze "did they also tell you about them getting us thrown out?"

Flicking away the bud he rubs his chilled hands together "please like you weren't going to kick that guy's ass yourself. Well if you didn't suck so bad at skating"

At his chuckle I shove him, but he just keeps laughing. We look out into the snow covered streets, the diamond lit sky clear with the pearl drop moon beaming down. It takes me a moment to realize he's kind of staring at me. Blowing smoke in his face I ask "do I have a TV on my head or something?"

He doesn't flinch, just smiles that hundred watt smile "cat's freak me out, I once lived in this foster house and they let me have a dog, I called him Max. I went on my first roller-coaster when I was twelve, puked my guts up after. I can't swim, I suck at history and my favorite color's blue, not just any blue but that dark sapphire blue and I've been taking boxing lesions since last year"

"Um, why are you telling me this?" I look at him wide eyed with horror, because when did listing trivial stuff about your life become an everyday pastime

He hasn't taken his eyes off me as he shrugs with a turn of his smile "I just wanted to. Goodnight Capricorn"

He stands and walks over to his window. With a bite of my lip the words slip out "Clowns!"

He stops for a second before turning his head back to me in confusion, watching as my too tiny frame stands to full measure "I don't like clowns; I don't know why they just terrify me. I like pastel colors, pink and green are my favorite. I've never had a pet or been on a roller-coaster and I'm allergic to cats"

Standing just inches from him he eyeballs me with those sky blue gems "why did you tell me that?"

"Just wanted to… night Gemini" I shine at him before climbing back into the welcoming warmth of my room

I swallow hard with the click of the shutter. Why did I do that? Why would he? This guy I knew for just a few weeks now knew more about me than anyone who ever tried and honestly… it scared me. Because it felt like I was letting him in, letting the Mercers in and I don't do that… not after what happened… never again I swore, but here I was doing it anyway. What the fuck?

_I can't stop it. They just keep coming, the tears. She warned me I had to stop being so friendly. That the way I looked at the boys was wrong, but I didn't look at them different I didn't think. Clara said the devil was tempting me and she had to get rid of the demon he nestled in me_

_So I sobbed silently or more making myself silent as my stomach ached but there wasn't any bruises, something about how the sock changes the texture of the soap inside when it hit… it was my fault. I should have done better to be good, I wanted so much to be good again. He always told me I was his good little girl… until she died_

_He drank. Drank so much he couldn't stand, didn't care if the bruises could be seen. He hit me, hated me because I look like her, my eyes sparkle like hers no longer did, cheeks flushed as hers now paled… I wasn't allowed to look like her because she's dead, gone. So the bruises and the swelling made me look different, I no longer looked like the woman my father had loved more than life itself. Despite the glares of disgust and fists of loathing I always rolled him onto his stomach, covered him with a blanket and crawled into the safety I somehow still found in his sleeping arms… because he wasn't some thug who liked to hurt me, he was Nick Crown and he was still my daddy_

I'm fighting for breath, a cold sweat coating my body and a warm tingle beneath me as I jerk upright. Panic floods my quaking veins "Shit! No, no, no, no!"

Jumping out of the bed I swallow hard at the revelation as I quickly creep into the bathroom, stripping down and washing quietly. I skulk down the stairs, getting fabric cleaner whilst in the tattered old floral robe that usually hangs on the bathroom door, because I didn't have time to grab clean clothes. I strip the sheets and start scrubbing away at the mattress restlessly, the tarnished sheets sat in the corner waiting for their turn.

"Mattie?" a voice whispers, only then do I realize the bedroom door has been opened

My eyes widen in horror as I freeze in place, my limbs seeming to lock into place "I'm sorry, I'm cleaning it, I'm cleaning it. It'll come out; I swear it won't happen again. I'm sorry"

On impulse I keep scrubbing, my fingers digging into the soap lathered sponge "I'll be good, I'll do better… please, I'm so sorry. I'll be good, I promise. I'll be a good girl"

Frail hands still mine as I keep muttering to myself, I can't stop, don't even realize there are tears streaming down my face "it's alright, it doesn't matter… you're alright"

There are hands cupping my cheeks as I shake my head, looking into the old woman's eyes as I sob "no, I'm not, I'm not alright. I don't know how to be. I'm so scared. I'm so fucking scared…"

My head falls with drowning tears as her arms wrap tight around me. Normally I'd push her away, break a few fingers but I'm crying for the first time in years and having some sort of breakdown. So I let her hold me close, rocking me lightly "your safe now Mattiline, I won't let anything hurt you. Never again I promise… just be happy, be anything you want but please be happy. I'm here, I'll protect you"

She speaks with such conviction and constancy, like my mom once did so long ago. So without thought for my fear's I cling to her as she cradles me close, letting me break in her arms as she collects the pieces. I let myself fall to pieces because for the first time for so long, I'm not scared… I'm safe.

_**Hey Guys! So what do you think? Let me know and thank you so much for every review they keep me writing so please take the time. Thanks again. **_

_**JJ X x**_


	5. Chapter 5

Sunday; the day of rest, or otherwise known as the day you dress up in your best gear to go praying with the locals. So here we were, sat in some church that could collapse at any moment. I don't really look much like myself, hell I don't recognize me, dressed in a feather white lace skater dress and pearl shiny shoes, my curls combed out and pinned back… I look like a freaking girl!

As the sermon drags on I cast a glance to Evelyn, I've been avoiding her since the other night. I don't know what happened to me, that girl, sniveling and pathetic, that wasn't me. I'd expected a drilling of questions about it the next morning but nothing, I was worried the guys had heard or maybe she'd told them. However nothing had changed in the way they acted or looked at me, she'd sent Jerry and Jack out to run some errands while she went to the shelter, like every Saturday. I just played video games with Angel (guys such a sore loser by the way) and watching The Muppets with Bobby, who started calling me Miss Piggy... the split lip took care of that

After the service we walk out with the crowd, the guys in their monkey suits whilst Evelyn talks to some people I don't give a rat's ass about. Looking around I go and grab my jacket out the car, sliding the leather over my shivering shoulders and gasping for a Tabaco kick when I see it. There just across the street is Nick stood amongst the snow, rubbing his hands to fight the cold. I watch him watching me, a smile comes onto his face and he waves with a smile that lingered in my dreams.

"Hey Mattie" I turn just and see the blonde bombshell making her way over with a skip in her step

I smile to the girl, the bruises faded to almost nothing now "Barbie…"

I look back to where my dad was leering but he's gone now, just the thin veil of snow falling in his place. Turning back I push her shoulder and nod over to Evelyn and the boys "let's get out of here"

We walk over to a pair of matching yellow haired females "Mom you remember Mattie, Mattie this is my mom, Hannah and my sister, Lily"

The kid must have been about eight, maybe nine and was smiling shyly with a blush on her cheek as her mother offered me her hand "Mattie it's nice to meet you properly."

I just look at her hand with a raised brow and Daisy nudged the older woman, making her hand drop "Daisy's told us so much about you"

"Daisy does like to talk" I quip and they laugh, looking over my shoulder I see them staring

My eyes lock with Evelyn's as I turn back the blonde trio "so I was told something about food"

Their house is nicer than ours, but only because it's hidden under a few layers of white paint and a shiny red door. The inside is pretty neutral; I walk in finding trophies and plaques at every turn.

"My mom is Miss Michigan 84, 92 and 96" I look into the bottle green orbs with a wide eyes and raised brows

I move to a cabinet filled with school achievements, pictures of Daisy and Lily scattered around. A family home…

A few short minutes later and Daisy is dragging my ass up to her room, my mouth hitting the floor when I see it "who was your decorator, little miss sunshine?"

She laughed as I bounced onto the too soft bed; the room is glittered in her name color, yellow, _everywhere_!

Daisy's hanging on the wall between framed newspaper articles and attendance awards, on old doll house in the corner and a silk net canopy over the bear covered bed. She joins me on the bed and laughs "my mom had it done up for me after my dad left, Lily's to. I think she was over compensating or something like that. I didn't complain"

"Not such a bad thing" I shrug and look over to the table littered with neatly stacked papers and organized writing tools

"I guess, but hey I'm going to sneak us some snacks before dinner" she skips out the room and I can already smell the chicken aroma as I make my way to the neatly managed table.

I flip through the papers and read a few titles '_Bulling; Hide it or Fight it' _and_ 'The Pain of Fear' _I skim over a few paragraphs and I have to say this stuff aint half bad. No wonder she's getting A's

"Did you beat up the bad girls?" my head snaps to see the girl, an image of her sister but with her mother's hazel gems

Putting the papers back hastily I kneel with a weary smile "hey kid, um, yeah, yeah I did"

"Thanks" she smiles up and me, her smile not as bright as it should be

"You're welcome… so is Daisy as annoying at home as at school?" I joke with as much lightheartedness I can muster

Her face turns really pensive before shrugging "she's Daisy"

I can't help laughing at that and ruffle a hand through the top of her yellow mane "you're not so bad kid"

She shakes her head shyly with a coy smile before biting her lip and frowning "Mattie, will you take care of Daisy for me?"

I didn't understand why this little girl seemed so concerned for her sister; maybe she got too much wind of the bullying. Just then in bounces the subject topic with a tray of cheese chips and sodas "hey, you guys getting along?"

"Like a house on fire… I actually did that once, shit spreads _quickly_!" I laugh before nicking a chip off from the small tray with a tight lipped smile

"You said a bad word" little Lily shakes her head in disapproval

I laugh and go over to the papers on the desk "you know Barbie you aint half bad at this writing gig"

Panic overcomes her face as she puts the tray down and moves to take the jottings, pushing them into the nearest draw "their just… their not really… who wants to watch a movie while we wait for dinner? How about A little princess"

She then scrabbles around trying to find the video, the mini-Barbie jumping on the bed in excitement to get comfy. My brow frowns, casting a glance to the draw before taking a seat with the bubble-headed sisters. Was she embarrassed about being picked on?

After the movie we sit at dinner, it's nice, I guess "So Mattie, how's living with the Mercer's"

She asks nice as you like so with a mouth full of chicken I shrug then swallow "they have cable, so I'm happy. Hey Barbie pass the parsnips"

They laugh then as I eat, man, Hannah can cook! She was nice or grateful at least about what I'd done. Turns out she didn't like Tombs, the guy Daisy had introduced me to. She said he was two-faced and I hadn't really noticed him around lately.

After dinner we had pie, not just any pie, cherry… but then as we sit in the living room watching the end of A Little Princess Hannah comes in while drying a plate "Mattie sweetie there's someone here for you"

I return her smile but sigh as I stand, damn Mercers… but it wasn't one of the boys like I'd thought it was "Hey Mattie-cakes"

"You shouldn't be here" I say hastily shooting the front door and stepping out into the cold

He smiles down at me with a light shrug and a chilled tone "I wanted to see you, did you have fun with your friend?"

"She's not my friend; she's just some girl I hang out with and stuff… Nick, you can't be here" he looks broken at my words swallowing the lump in his throat

He nods and I see the tears rimming his sorrow swept eyes "I know that, I know… I just… I'm sorry baby, I'm so sorry for letting you down. I should have taken so much better care of you"

Suddenly I'm the one with the lump in my throat and I can't breathe, his big hand was suddenly on my cheek and I flinch, that hand that once held me so tight and bruised me so shockingly "I'm so sorry Mattiline"

Tears are streaming down his cheeks as he steps back, looking me over with shame on every angle of his face, staring at the snowflake resting around my throat before breaking into a run and I can't help the panic that races through my bones "no, wait, Daddy wait!"

But he was gone, my lip quivering not from the cold as I bite down to still it, to halt my unshed tears. I'm not that girl; I can't be that girl… I can't survive as that girl.

"Mattie, are you ok? Who was it?" I turn back and see Daisy

She's looking at me all concerned and I don't know why I said it, why I felt the need to reassure her but I smile "don't worry about it Barbie, so does this Minchin hag get her comeuppance or what?"

Angel picks me up; he has a black eye from his latest hustle gone wrong, tricking bar guys at pool. He looks over at me with a frown when I turn off the thumping beat coming from the stereo "what crawled up your ass?"

"Your shitty-ass music is giving me a migraine" I say looking over the passing scene outside

I hear him scoff as he says "please, 2pac is the man… you and Jackie aint got no taste, with your angry girl bands and stupid hair"

I look at him with a cocked brow and a low chuckle "Stupid hair? Say's the guy with the afro twice as big as his fat head"

He looks at me wide eyed, braces glittering I notice something pink on his forehead, a smudge of something "who are you calling fat head, Tinkerbelle!"

I can't help laughing with him at that, a lightness coming over me "you're a moron"

We get out of the car and I can't help but smile at the sight I find sat on the porch window sill "Billy?"

He looks up at me with a smile "hey Mad, I got that radiator for you"

Nodding I tighten the warm leather around my shaky frame "about fucking time… is that tea?"

He smiles and holds up the cup "Evelyn made it for me, nice lady"

With a lick of my lips I shrug "I guess…"

He just stands there, towering over me; the tattoo adores his neck stiff as he washes those blue gems over my small body "you ok?"

"Billy Darley, are you worried about me?" I laugh it off but he doesn't waver

Taking a step closer he bobs his bald head with a nod "damn straight! I know that look Mad, I know you"

"You know shit!" I snap, squaring up to him. Passersby would think it's some sort of kiss about to happen, or a threat on a teenage girl

His gaze softens then "Mattie what happened?"

I shake my head, looking down at my feet "leave it alone Billy, please"

He steps back then, taking a sip of his tea. He respected me enough to know I can handle my own shit. Billy got out of the system when he was eighteen, little over a year ago now. We'd shared two foster homes and four orphanages over the years. We had records together; hell this guy taught me how to boost my first car.

"I should get gone, tell Evelyn thanks for the tea" he walks over to his truck after thrusting the cup into my hands and I watch him go, Billy and I have history. I know he isn't happy about me brushing him off but he gets it

I walk into the house only then realizing Angel had darted inside the second we got back, I hear moving around upstairs and not a soul floating around the bottom ground. When I reach the top of the stairs I see Jerry quickly shut my bedroom door and smile those big ass teeth at me "Hey Mattie, did you have a nice time at your friend's house?"

"Move Jerry…" I say with a harsh threating tone

I go to move around him only to be blocked by his lanky frame "so did they have chicken or turkey? You know I like that Daisy girl she seems real…"

Then we start to struggle lightly, me fighting to get past as I scream "move Jerry otherwise I will fuck you up!"

With a swift kick to the shin he crumbles and I burst through the door "Now you all better tell…"

My sentence dies mid-way into the air because this wasn't my room… was it? The two side walls were painted in a pale mint green while the wall behind and in front of me where a petal soft pink. The single bed that had been slammed against the wall had vanished and was replaced with a twin bed, covered in cotton soft pink and green poke-a-dot sheets. The vanity mirror, wardrobe and dresser layered in the same pink and green that was settling into the walls. All my movie and band posters had been framed and scattered around the room carefully. There was a bright green and pink pair of beanbags in the far corner and a new stereo sat on the dresser and there on my bedside table next to a glittery lava lamp that hadn't been their this morning was the picture I had tucked under my bed, now wrapped in a silver frame.

"What do you think?" I turn at the voice only then to remember the people stood around me, covered in paint

I turn to them and for the second time that day I swallow my tears, but not in heartache, I don't know what this feeling is as I ask "is this… for me?"

I sound confused to my own ears as Evelyn smiles and Bobby jokes "sure is, but if you don't like it I'm sure Jackie wouldn't mind switching, right Jackie-boy?"

"Shut up man. Mattie, you like it right?" their all standing their looking at me as I hold the frame in my trembling hands

"Yeah, yeah it's um… its cool. Thanks?" I don't know what to say, this was for me? Why? I didn't get it

"Great, now we go play some Hockey!" Angel smiles, the boys bouncing out the room, each throwing me a smirk before leaving me alone with the old woman

I look her in the eye before asking with knitted brows "Evelyn…"

I look down to the picture as she answers my unspoken question whist cupping my cheeks tenderly "because every girl needs their own little haven and because you Mattiline deserve it"

I look up into her smiling face, all honesty and good intention and without thought I act on instinct… I hug her; arms tightly wrapped around her neck as I barely whisper "Thank you"

Returning the rare embrace she laughs "don't thank me honey, it was Jackie's idea and your brothers did all the work. Jerry nearly lost it putting that bed together"

Pulling away from her I smile and she looks at the picture to me "Mattie, you coming or what?"

A smirk spreads across my face as I put the frame back where I found it, taking one last look at my room before skipping down the stairs and into the yard where on the way to the car a snowball fight broke out and I was instantly beating on them with my heavy handed throws.

"Mattie watch out" a voice called, pulling me away from the attack of ill rounded snow and hiding me with the cover of their lean frame

"Hey Gemini" I smile up into those sky blue orbs

His hundred watt smirk beaming down at me he has a pig spurge of green on his forehead "Hey Capricorn, so you like the room"

I scan over his face before nodding lightly "yeah, thanks Jackie… you know you have something…"

I point on my forehead where the paint is and he rubs at it, only for me to fist a pile of snow and shove it into his face, quickly pushing him off to join the echoing fight behind us as he laughs and gives chase "oh, you are so dead!"

It was fun. Playing around with them in the snow, the teasing and the roughhousing… I laughed and smiled more than I have in a long time.

What I didn't know that just on the corner in a beaten old truck sat a man gripping the wheel with white knuckles, pain in his heart and a gun in his passage seat… if only I knew what was about to come.

**Hey guys, sorry for the wait but I've been thinking about how this should convert into the movie and about it becoming an M. All your opinions and suggestions are loved so please review. **

**JJ X x**


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